I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
