we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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