how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it glows. i had to have it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
