I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
