Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
