Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
