like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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