I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
