Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Everclear isn't food dammit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
