I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
