some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
