I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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