my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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