Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
