I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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