So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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