just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
