I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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