Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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