Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
