you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
