Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Holy shit dude........stairs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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