I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
