I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize