yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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