My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
