I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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