ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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