I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
