Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
