McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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