I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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