So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
