Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
someone owes me an orgasm
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
