I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize