Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
