but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I smell stomach acid.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
