I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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