I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
