Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my sisters under your porch take her home
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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