we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
