we're chasing vodka with high fives
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
