from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
me + whiskey = a bad person
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
