found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
