is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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