false alarm. still invincible.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
