I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
