she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
