...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
