we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
