The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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