Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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