we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
