I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
