I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
