It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
