Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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