Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
