38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
