At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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