Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
