walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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