wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Use "feeling words"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?