Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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(620): Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me http://tfl.nu/fd2j

Replies (18) Good night (758) Bad night (2673)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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(573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5

Replies (33) Good night (765) Bad night (3153)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(208): I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid. http://tfl.nu/h0xq

Replies (11) Good night (775) Bad night (2437)
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(772): View more from Florida

Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

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(772): Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/26ja

Replies (4) Good night (2910) Bad night (649)
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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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(310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc

Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (3670)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.

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(717): We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation. http://tfl.nu/p6jv

Replies (43) Good night (1278) Bad night (4523)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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(413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj

Replies (4) Good night (2198) Bad night (1038)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

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(609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl

Replies (7) Good night (4283) Bad night (1240)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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(519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065

Replies (9) Good night (2078) Bad night (668)
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(419): View more from Ohio

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

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(419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2

Replies (4) Good night (2234) Bad night (702)
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(647): View more from Ontario

bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.

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(647): bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope. http://tfl.nu/udjt

Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (624)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

So all in all, a good night.

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(717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215

Replies (0) Good night (1387) Bad night (453)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.

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(410): Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences. http://tfl.nu/tv4t

Replies (2) Good night (1198) Bad night (330)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

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(307): Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? http://tfl.nu/jvqk

Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (211)
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(425): View more from Washington

Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.

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(425): Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/8c1k

Replies (0) Good night (27) Bad night (27)

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