Texts From Last Night

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  (432): View more from Texas

  So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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  (432): So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone.. http://tfl.nu/o0ep
  Replies (18) Good night (772) Bad night (4437)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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  (201): we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me http://tfl.nu/mhrn
  Replies (34) Good night (763) Bad night (5066)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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  (617): I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw. http://tfl.nu/9aqz
  Replies (17) Good night (4802) Bad night (1107)
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  (818): View more from California

  I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.

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  (818): I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder. http://tfl.nu/z8u4
  Replies (50) Good night (6779) Bad night (2690)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!

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  (814): My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!! http://tfl.nu/fx6s
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (5791)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones

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  (985): It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones http://tfl.nu/0il5
  Replies (6) Good night (4989) Bad night (938)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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  (720): I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else. http://tfl.nu/ss1v
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (763)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.

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  (519): i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying. http://tfl.nu/5e1o
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (1317)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2597) Bad night (847)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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  (518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9
  Replies (6) Good night (644) Bad night (2620)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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  (503): ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help. http://tfl.nu/liab
  Replies (9) Good night (1149) Bad night (739)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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  (361): Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/01wo
  Replies (7) Good night (1304) Bad night (1012)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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  (240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (1041)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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  (443): Something about Sunday night screams phone sex http://tfl.nu/g1ms
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (378)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (385)

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