No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.